Allison’s Eclectic Expatiation

I wrote this while I was watching it:

*Whoa, McCain just repeated, almost verbatim, what Obama just said, all the way to the “Main Street” line.

*Hehe, his “I’ve been around a long time” line reminded me of a book I saw in the checkout of Borders yesterday titled : “72 Things That Are Younger Than John McCain.”. Such items as “Zip Codes”, “Social Security”, “Duct Tape”, and “Chocolate Chip Cookies”.

*I wish Obama would be a little more clear in HOW he plans to get us out of the financial crisis. I agree that we need to look back on how we got here in the first place, because looking at history prevents us from making the same mistakes again. However, I wish that he would spend less time focusing on the foolish Bush decisions that McCain backed, and was looking more towards the future. However, McCain was even MORE vague in his plans, and I do understand that these debates are ultimately for the swing voters. Even still, I wish Obama would have given his existing supporters a little more detail when it came to his financial recovery plan.

*Man, McCain really does sound more and more like a daffy old man the more I listen to him speak. God help us.

*This moderator is cracking me up. He sounds like couples therapist: “Don’t talk to me, talk to him! I’m determined to have you guys talk to each other”. However, I like that he addresses the vagueness of both candidates, asking them questions in an attempt to get them to be more specific.

*I’m astonished at how much muckraking McCain is doing, and proud of how well Obama is dismissing all of McCain’s slanderous claims.  That being said, McCain REALLY thinks this war has been succesfull????

*Wow, Obama really seems to have been doing his homework with foreign policy. However, I am extremely ignorant in this area, so I don’t have much to say.

Ultimately, I think my Obama handled himself really well. He is an extremely classy guy, who doesn’t seem to falter, even when being attacked, which is what I think we should all hope for in a President. However, I, as a staunch liberal and Democrat, don’t really know what the mindset of today’s independent or swing-voter IS, quite honestly. I can clearly see the fallacy in McCain’s statements, and he was definitely playing dirty.

If you didn’t get a chance to see it, here is the debate in it’s entirety.

And on October 2nd, it’s VP time! Oh man, I cannot WAIT to see Biden and Palin go head to head. The woman is a MORON. Seriously, look at this clip from her interview with Katie Couric.

yeah, Biden is gonna mop the FLOOR with her, and I can’t wait to see it.

Pissed at the fact that it is taking her so long to find a job.

Pissed that she isn’t losing weight.

Pissed that no one seems to REALLY care about her, with the exception of maybe 4 people.

Pissed at the friends who claim to love her so much, who only contact her when they want something or are bored (and this statement is directed at a few people.)

Pissed that things don’t seem to get better, only getting worse.

Pissed at herself for allowing so much stuff to happen in her past relationship.

Pissed that after all her hard work, she is back at square one.

Pissed that when she is this upset, she can’t even be productive or focus on anything else.  She is just mad, and has to sit there and stew in it until it goes away.

Pissed that she cares so much, and wishes she could just say “fuck it”.

After a certain point of feeling bad about myself, sad, lonely, etc, I just get angry.  I blast the music, drive too fast, and try not to burst into tears.  I’m angry that nothing in my life seems to be going right, and that I’m letting everything upset me this much.  I’m embarrassed that I had to spend the last 6 hours with my father’s friends, with nothing interesting to say about myself, and tell them all that I was unemployed and living with my mother.  I can’t speak to my closest confidante in the same way I used to, and it wouldn’t help anyways, because talking about it is just going to make me more upset.  I have no social life, no projects, no dates, no ANYTHING.  Nothing to keep me occupied or happy or distracted.  My books can only work so much.  Honestly, pounding on the keys on my keyboard has been the closest thing to a release I’ve had all day, other than driving 90 mph on the freeway home.

I’m mad as hell, at people, at myself, at this whole goddamn situation.  And the fact that I can’t do a damn thing about it just makes me more so.

I know I haven’t been updating this as often as I normally do.  To all of the 3 people who read this on a regular basis, I’m apologize.

At a certain point, I feel like every post is pretty repetitive “Still job hunting, blah blah blah, man, unemployment sure is boring…” and so on and so forth.  There is nothing new to report.  And me whining certainly isn’t entertaining.  So if I don’t write as often, thats why. I don’t need to subject more people to that. BTW, today is Day 52.

A really good website to find out about new musicians you may like: Pandora.  I have found out about a bunch of new artists that I ended up REALLY liking from them; The Hush Sound, Hurts To Purr, and Katie Todd.  I also started giving other artists who I had heard OF, but never listened to, a chance, and was pleasantly suprised, like with The New Pornographers, Petra Haden, The Kinks, Portishead and The Pierces.

Oh, Katie Todd.  I adore you, and yet you insist on being so low profile.  I keep trying to upload her music on Imeem, and for some reason it won’t allow me to (perhaps because I bought her albums on ITunes?).  Anyways, she is great.  the couple performance videos aren’t anything too spectacular, but her sound is so incredible.  The guitar riffs are amazing, and her piano playing reminds me of…running.  It’s hard to explain.

The sound quality isn’t great, and sadly, there isn’t a ton of stuff online to hear. Your best bet is CDBaby.com and just type in her name (she also goes under ‘Katie Todd Band’), and you can hear some samples there. Or just go to her MySpace page, and you can hear some stuff there. But she is really excellent, with a slightly different sound.

Another artist I just learned about, from Perez (which is where I learned about Katy Perry, Bo Pepper, AlphaBeat and Robyn.), is Marit Larsen.

There is another video shot the same day of her walking around the train station singing the song, and then one of her (same outfit, same day) standing in front of a produce stand. All videos are of her singing “If A Song Could Get Me You”. All her other songs (I listened to them on imeem) do not disappoint. And look at her! She’s so cute! She’s like a little Norwegian fairy!

So, this whole week has been pretty dull so far, and as a result, I decided to start watching “How I Met Your Mother” pretty much all day (also, surfthechannel.com is closing in a few days. Sad )

This is actually a really funny show. It’s very clever, witty and smart, and the cast is just impeccable. And it has just confirmed my ever-growing love and affection for Neil Patrick Harris.

And here is a nice little Sesame Street clip, and he makes me smile.

What, am I supposed to act SUPRISED now?

Something that just occured to me:

When I decided to go back to school, and finally got started on it, all my friends were just about to graduate.  As I was just starting out, they were all finishing up.  But I consoled myself with the fact that I already had a life built, work experience, a place of my own.

Now I don’t have a job, I’m living back with my mom, and all my friends are just starting to get their own places.

I worked so hard to be, I dont know, AHEAD of the game.  Now I feel like I’m behind.  I don’t begrudge my friends their happiness, not at all.  But I feel so frustrated that now they are all starting these adult lives, and I’m BACK at square one.

Why now?  It’s not fair that I’ve lost everything, all the freedom, and the life I built for myself over the course of 5 years…poof.  And I feel like a loser again.

I know it’s just temporary.  I know that within 6 months, I’ll probably have a new job, and a place to live.  But right now….  I guess it just feels like all that hard work is so easily erased.  And that makes me really mad.

At first, my allergies were just shooting me dirty looks.  Then they started spreading rumors about me.  Now, after keying my car and bitch-slapping me in the face, they have declared out and out war.

I’m on 2 different medicines, and I still can’t stop sneezing, my eyes are still puffy, watery and only opened in slits.  My nose wont stop running and I cant stop sneezing and my sinuses feel like they are on fire.  And I havent even stepped outside yet!

You know, sometimes you feel like maybe you overreacted about something, and maybe you were judging one of your friends too harshly. 

And then you have it all come crashing back to you.  It sucks.

UPDATE: After a snuck stress cigarette on the patio, and an hour and a half talk with Sid about, eh, LIFE, I feel a lot better.  Please disregard this has being a bad moment.

All of the sudden, I’m feeling really bad.  Really lonely.  Really…unloved.  no, thats not it.  Not a priority?  Not missed?  Fuck, I don’t know.  Lonely.  really damn lonely.  Painfully lonely.

I need to stay off Facebook.  Seeing everyone out with their friends and loved ones is making me naseous/wanting to throw things.

These are the dark times.  This is what I was afraid of.  this is not what I want.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

It’s morning, and I still feel like crap.  I don’t know if this thing has developed into a full blown cold, but either way, It has resulted in Allison not feeling so hot.

Had an interview yesterday, and while I think it went well, I also thought that of the last one.. so… yeah.

I have become so exceptionally boring lately.  I wake up, make breakfast, play with dog, and then just sort of putter.  At this point, the allergies are so bad I’m afraid to venture outside much.  I feel like the boy in the bubble.

Ya think I can pull this off at Lainey’s party?  yeah, probably not.

I then spend way too much time on the internet, on assorted social networking blah blah, and on GoodReads.  Omigod, Good REads!  I have lost hours upon hours on that site. Basically, it’s like a social networking site, but with BOOKS!  Because, face it, you are more likely to read a book that was reccommended to you by a friend than just something you saw on a shelf (I usually peruse the book review sections of magazines myself, and add them to my “Books To Read” notebook.  Anyways, just writing reviews of books you have read, making note of ones you want to read.  Seriously.  I lost a good entire day just playing around with that site.  Damn Haley!

Is anyone interested in going to the LA County Fair next Saturday?  Apparently there is a TON of yummy food, and most importantly, I have heard many rumors stating that THIS is going to be there:

Eeee!!! Giant German Rabbit!!! To steal a quote from haley “Brain goes explodey”

**************************************************************************
I’m so lonesome nowadays. I mean, really, I kind of stopped to think about it: a couple months ago, I was at Sean and Mark’s house, like, every other day. I was around co-workers, I saw Lainey occasionally.

Now, I sit in this house with the dog all day. I IM people, and occasionally I go out with The Tera, or I grab breakfast with J, but mostly it’s just me left to my own devices. It’s true, I take much consolation in my books, but at a certain point, you miss PEOPLE.

I’m looking forward to tomorrow, which has 2 parties, lots of friends, and an excuse for me to look pretty.

Just blurting out the phrase “the cow in the barn goes moo” can pretty much diffuse any bad situation.

I mean…

…seriously…

cows are funny.

C’mon!

(You know I have to get a bunny in there somewhere.)

*haley is gonna loooove this post.