neglected

I’ve been feeling very neglected by my close friends lately.

I’ve been growing closer to some new friends, and feel like my old friends, my best friends, are nowhere to be found.  I understand that they are busy with big important things in their lives right now… but I feel like they have no interest in talking to me or spending time with me.

This hurts on many different levels.  I mean, for one, I’m always there for them.  Ready with a ear or a shoulder to cry on or a helping hand.  They seem less than eager to return the favor.  Ever since Jordan and I broke up, they all have gone M.I.A.  Additionally, they all seem a little bothered about how well I’ve been handling my breakup.  Sometimes I feel like they would be more comfortable with my moping and heartsick.  The couple of times I have spoken to them, there is something resembling disapproval in their tone.  And it’s true, I have been acting very out of character lately, but not destructively so.  I just wish they would be THERE.  That they missed me, wanted to see me, hell, give me a call.

On top of that, I miss my best best friend; Jordan.  Obviously, thats a no-brainer as to why we don’t speak daily.  Truthfully, we have been easing into friendship pretty well, considering we only broke up about 2-3 weeks ago.  We talk once or twice a week, we have seen each other a couple times, we have plans to see the new Batman movie together once it comes out.  But I miss his friendship.  I miss spending time with him.  I know that our romantic relationship came to an end for a reason, and I’m accepting that in my own way a little bit day after day.  And I want our friendship-only status to come about organically as possible, but I would be devastated if we just floated out of each other’s lives.  He used to be my partner in crime.  I guess I just miss that as well.

Just because I’m handling this well doesn’t mean I want to handle it entirely alone.

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~ by Alli on Sunday, July 6, 2008.

One Response to “neglected”

  1. I’m sorry I forgot to call you back last night. Things have been kinda hectic for me lately. I know you probably think that I don’t care, or that I’m judging you. In all fairness to you…I guess I kinda did. Only for a time. I completely understand why you did what you did. But to me-you seemed different. And that was really hard for me to take in. I hope you understand where I’m coming from as well. But please believe me when I say that your are one of my best friends, and of course I love you no matter what you do. But please also understand that my life right now is one big mess. And I’ll be living in the valley shortly…so, I guess that should make you happy at least a little, right?

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