sloth days

You ever get in one of those moods when you just feel shitty? You aren’t mad, you aren’t sad, you aren’t nauseous or achey? You just feel off?  I feel that way today.  I don’t know if it has to do with all the crap I’ve been dealing with lately, or it’s just the lady hormones.

I find that when I am in moods such as these, I’m really bad at killing time.  Nothing really holds my interest.  I’m just constantly uncomfortable in my own skin.  Not even stuffing my face with food, which face it, always makes Allison pretty happy, does the trick.  So lets see if bitching on the world wide web does it. 

Random thought: I can’t wait til my friends start getting married.  Weddings are a blast.  I mean, one giant party where you get to dress up.  It’s like prom, except without high school drama, and more booze!  I’ve only ever been to family weddings, and I can’t wait to attend one of my friends’ weddings, and celebrate their day with them.  I don’t know what made me think of that… Maybe me feeling off makes me just want to wear a pretty dress. 🙂

I find that whenever I go on Facebook (which is rare), I always feel very unimpressive.  Myspace is “whatever”.  Everyone and their fucking mom is on myspace.  But Facebook… those people are in college, or graduated from college.  They have travelled places, they have done things.  They’ve ACCOMPLISHED things.  They are on a path.  I always feel vastly unimpressive when I end up on Facebook, whether it’s speaking to someone on chat, or just looking at their “Places I’ve Been” map.  I just feel like such a goober.  “Uh yeahhh, I’m a receptionist in Van Nuys.  But I go to school at night.”  “Oh really, whats your major?”  “uhhhhhh….”.

I know everyone says that “Hey, at least you are going, thats something.”  But I still feel exceedingly lame.  In the meantime, I guess I can just go back to Myspace and feel superior THERE.  I swear to god, I saw some dumb bitch put on her page “You can never be too thin, too tan, or too rich.”  Ugh.  Ok, now I DO feel nauseous.

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~ by Alli on Sunday, July 27, 2008.

2 Responses to “sloth days”

  1. Dude – I just got a Facebook and I swear to god, I thought THE EXACT SAME THING. When I started reconnecting with my h.s. friends who are all starting grad school . . . and I am . . . working full time and going to community college.

    You have to think about it a different way though. For example, all my friends who graduated colleges are without jobs because they have no work experience. Most of them live at home and are scared of the “Real world.”

    Academic accomplishment comes with the ability to spend actual time in school. YOu and I – we live on our own, we have our own apartments, we work full time, we go to school at night. Those are all accomplishments in the real world. 😀

  2. Oh-and dude.

    You got an “A” in Pierce’s class! That is totally an accomplishment!

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