left behind

Something that just occured to me:

When I decided to go back to school, and finally got started on it, all my friends were just about to graduate.  As I was just starting out, they were all finishing up.  But I consoled myself with the fact that I already had a life built, work experience, a place of my own.

Now I don’t have a job, I’m living back with my mom, and all my friends are just starting to get their own places.

I worked so hard to be, I dont know, AHEAD of the game.  Now I feel like I’m behind.  I don’t begrudge my friends their happiness, not at all.  But I feel so frustrated that now they are all starting these adult lives, and I’m BACK at square one.

Why now?  It’s not fair that I’ve lost everything, all the freedom, and the life I built for myself over the course of 5 years…poof.  And I feel like a loser again.

I know it’s just temporary.  I know that within 6 months, I’ll probably have a new job, and a place to live.  But right now….  I guess it just feels like all that hard work is so easily erased.  And that makes me really mad.

Advertisements

~ by Alli on Tuesday, September 23, 2008.

3 Responses to “left behind”

  1. WTF is your problem?

    Stop comparing yourself to other people. 😛

    No, seriously, there is no “being ahead of the game.” It doesn’t exist. Life is not really linear when you think about – it exists in some murky type of blechness. I see it as a big ol’ ocean with lots of funny animals swimming around. Everything goes in cycles.

    Feel better chola.

  2. I realize my playfulness did not come through in the last comment.

    I mean, don’t trip – tie yr shoelaces…basically.

    I’m medicated! Wooo!

  3. Lord, Haley. No blogging while medicated.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: