Seasons Thinkings.

This time last year” is a phrase that’s been rolling around in my brain for awhile now.

When you go through a breakup, or move, or lose a loved one, or when you go through pretty much any severe change to your life…routines and traditions change, as they are prone to do. Ah, such is life.

My breakup from my boyfriend of 3 years was 5-6 months ago. Little landmarks go by… “we saw this movie..” “…fourth of july..” “planning for this, talking about that…” “now, when the weather got cold, I helped you pick out a jacket…”. Now, the holidays roll around, and you never realize how much you took for granted having a permanent date to assorted gatherings and flag holidays. Not that you don’t have anywhere to go, your brain just does the inevitable

this time last year…

…we held hands under the table while people oohed over the turkey.

…you had someone to kiss, without thinking about it.

…we were partners in crime, every inadvertently funny thing someone says an inside joke for the two of us.

…had someone to pick out a Christmas present for.

…someone’s shoulder to sleep on, on the drive home.

…the knowledge that you would not be sleeping alone.

This will go on for at least a full year after the breakup. It’s the most recent “event”. “This time two years ago, three years ago, four years ago…”, well, it means less and less. But “this time last year“…well, that statement packs a wallop.

But now is not the time of year to be sad, it is the time to be thankful, and happy, and take joy in the small things in life. And while the past few months have not been easy, there are a few things I give many, many thanks for:

*the fact that my ex and I remain in each others lives, because it solidifies in my mind that while we are no longer together, what we had was special and very real. And that we will remain friends for a very long time.  And that in the world, I continue to be loved.

*my old friends, whether they be from high school or an even younger age. As we grow, especially in our 20’s, we tend to be “out of sight, out of mind.”, and leave behind many things and people. The fact that one more year goes by when I am in your life and you are in mine is a fact that makes me feel warm, loved, and altogether good :), and is a testament to our friendship.

*the amazing new friends I have made this year. In life, you meet assorted people, and very few of them stick with you. I have met some truly incredible people this year, and am fortunate to call them genuine friends. I’m sad that I already don’t get to see them as much as I used to, but I look forward to picking up where we left off once I am more local again.

*Tofu. Tofu is awesome, and has made my parlay into a more compassionate diet that much easier. Trader Joe’s, you too have made the transition quite pleasant. Truthfully, if Trader Joe were an actual person, I would probably make out with him.

*the fact that my mother and I seem to be having a remarkably healthy relationship. It blows my mind, and I am always appreciative.

*Barack Obama. I am very thankful for Obama. Nuff said.

*My car. My white steed freedom on wheels is the only thing keeping my few shreds of dignity/sanity intact during this rough patch in my life. It has been over a year since I got my drivers license, and I am still eternally grateful for the ability to up and leave whenever I choose. It keeps me calm. Honorable mention goes to my ipod, which makes my escapes oh so much more pleasant.

*public libraries. The unemployed book worm’s best friend.

*Twitter, contacts, green tea, surfthechannel.com, vitamins, bunnies, Zoe the Wonder Dog, the fact that cardigans are still fashionable, Pandora, Flickr, and all those little distractions that make life just a bit more fun.

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~ by Alli on Saturday, November 29, 2008.

2 Responses to “Seasons Thinkings.”

  1. I’m thankful for you, Alli!!!

    Here’s to the next 50 years!!!

  2. Seriously…the boys at Trader Joe’s are good enough! 😛

    Let’s go shopping! Muahahahahahahahahahahaha.

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