reflections on self

Note: this was written about 5 days ago

I was going to go to the gym this evening, but decided it would be a much better use of my time to have a tiny breakdown instead.
I’m exaggerating a little. Basically, this (on paper) has been a good week. Had some fun with a new friend early in the week, got a job (more on that later), and have already made plans to North Hollywood by the end of this week. For all intents and purposes, things are starting to head down a good path.
But I also have been, sort of, consistently down in the dumps for the past few weeks. To the point where I have started taking St Jons Wort and have been contemplating going back to therapy.
I had a post all written that discussed in great detail why I’m bummed out, but truthfully, it was written a couple days ago, and I’m feeling just better enough that I don’t want to look backwards. But I’ll leave you with this: How much of your opinion of yourself, the knowledge that you have about the type of person you are, is independent from what other people think of you? A friend of mine says its impossible, that on some level, you need to have your beliefs about yourself reflected back. I’m not sure.

Oh, and a thank you to Stephie, who has picked up on my sad little posts and Tweets, and sending me links and funness. I was actually meaning to give her a shout out, because no matter how shitty things go, she still seems to go towards life with whimsy and positivity. When she comes to Los Angeles to visit…man, we will paint the town sparkly.

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~ by Alli on Thursday, April 23, 2009.

3 Responses to “reflections on self”

  1. […] Allison’s Eclectic Expatiation placed an observative post today on reflections on selfHere’s a quick excerptNote: this was written about 5 days ago I was going to go to the gym this evening, but decided it would be a much better use of my time to have a tiny breakdown instead. I’m exaggerating a little. Basically, this (on paper) has been a good week. Had some fun with a new friend early in the week, got a job (more on that later), and have already made plans to North Hollywood by the end of this week. For all intents and purposes, things are starting to head down a good path. But I al […]

  2. I’m sad to hear that you’re sad…I wish I could be there for you more often, but my life has been such a rollercoaster ride lately. I barely have time to think about my own life. Anyway, I love you and I hope you’re ok.

  3. Aw, thanks lady! I hope you are feeling better.

    I recommend Vitamin B (the Stress Complex kind) and the first chapter of The Feeling Good Handbook. Learning about the “ten forms of twisted thinking” changed my life:

    http://www.spiritsite.com/writing/davbur/part5.shtml

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