Haze

On a Saturday like this, sometimes all you can do it sit.

The Los Angeles heat makes productivity a nice idea in theory, but not something that will be implemented anytime soon.

You stay inside, where the heat is lazy and still, as opposed to the almost stabbing like heat that waits for you outside.  You stay inside, because the neighborhood is having a gigantic yard sale, and you cannot be trusted to not spend your last $35.  You need that for gas.  And soap.

Clothes that need to be put away.  You take a nap on them.

Sometimes, when it’s this hot, and you feel this sweaty and this gross, you just sort of sit in it.  Feeling more and more gross, you sweat and sit in your own filth, so that a nice shower just feels that much nicer.

You listen to your friend talk about his ex, who just got engaged.  You feel bad for him.  She shouldn’t be the one who gets to be happy.  Even if its a happy charade.  All this talk about exes and their new relationships is not something you want to be thinking about at this particular moment.

Sigh.

You’ve bitten off all your fingernails, so they are super short.  You are very aware of the skin on your fingertips now.  You feel declawed, almost impotent.

Stretch.

The boy flies back in tonight.  You are excited, nervous.  Him leaving for 2 weeks after only 3 weeks of dating put things on a weird hold.  Picking up where you left off, making sure the pilot light is lit before you turn on the stove…you’ll just have to wait and see.   But hey, there is something to look forward to on this exceptionally hot Saturday after all.

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~ by Alli on Saturday, July 18, 2009.

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