cake or death?

In an attempt to “come on get happy” I give you this:

Today was the final straw. The camel’s back, she is broken. After a week of sinking further and further into this pit of depression, the grand finale was Hey Allison gets into another car accident!

I’m fine. I don’t know how bad the damage to the car is yet. I could go into further details…but I just don’t have the stomach for it right now. It will all get resolved at some point. The man I hit asked me “Allison, do you need some prayer?” to which I responded “No, I need my car fixed”.

So now, with this big Bang (literally) of a finale, I can choose to do one of 2 things: 1) I can sink even farther into this hole brought on by romance gone awry, poverty, stress and just plain bad luck to the point where it will be a serious problem or 2) try my best to focus on myself and … c’mon get happy.

So I’m trying for the latter. Because I may not be able to bounce back from the former.

My ex said to me the other night “You know, you seemed really happy, almost irritatingly so, before you started dating”. And it’s true. Maybe I have too much work to do on myself before I can give someone else in my life that much power over my emotions. So I’m going back to square one: Allison’s Kick-Ass-Taking-Names-Rockstar-Vegan Lifestyle. And on days when I get lonely…I’m gonna just have to deal.

I will say this though…in the vein of everything happening for a reason…I do not regret dating Colin. He has become one of my good friends who was there for me in a very major way today, in a way that no one else really could. I think if we hadn’t dating, we may not have become the friends we are, and I’m just grateful to have him in my life. And of course Haley, who sings me songs about monkeys and takes me to eat Thai food at 2 am, and sends me home with homemade ice cream and sings about monkeys again. Both of them probably kept my sanity in tact on Saturday.

I am now going to attempt some semblance of sleep. We’ll see how that works out.

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~ by Alli on Sunday, September 27, 2009.

2 Responses to “cake or death?”

  1. Glee is definitely a good way to start the day.

    Keep your head up babe. It’ll all get better soon. Much love always.

  2. […] (both of which I am now taking medication for), and the cherry on top of my downward spiral was another car wreck (which, unlike the other, worse one, WAS my fault) and yet another bout of unemployment due to […]

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