i don’t own an umbrella

I don’t own an umbrella.

I know I should, I just haven’t gotten around to it.  My favorite umbrella got destroyed in the car crash last January (it was in the trunk, and was burned up).

I loved that umbrella.  The one I had even had a carving of Van Gogh’s signature in the handle.  But until I can afford to replace it, I haven’t felt the need to go and buy another lesser one to have “in the meantime”.  I’m afraid that if I buy one just to have one, I’ll never get around to replacing the one I really wanted.

My current cell phone is 4 years old.  My Palm Centro broke, and rather than spend the money to replace it through my phone insurance, I’d rather wait until I have the money to extend my contract and buy the phone I really want (the Droid ERIS).  It doesn’t make sense to spend $50 on a phone, when I’m planning on spending another $100 in a few months for an entirely different one.

I’m not a fan of placeholders. Something that will “do for now” until you get what you really want. Hell, I don’t even eat ramen very much. If I’m putting something in my body, it should be real food.

I don’t understand what compels people to keep these things around in their life, especially when it comes to people. Hanging out with a friend you don’t like very much because you just want something to do on a Friday night. Dating someone (any sort of intimate companionship that is more than a cut and dry “casual sex” situation) so you can pass the time, have some company and have a warm body in you bed, not because you are particularly smitten or invested in spending time with them.

I get the logic behind buying the cheaper shampoo. I get going to see the movie that you don’t want to see because it will make the other person happy. I EVEN get working a job you hate because a job is a job. But our relationships with people, both romantic and otherwise, are special, unique things. They are only worth their own weight. A superficial one has no point other than to help you lose sight of the real thing.

I am not a fan of placeholders. I don’t keep them around. I refuse to be someone else’s placeholder either. Because, quite frankly, I’m worth a hell of a lot more than a cheap umbrella. I’m a goddamn work of art.

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~ by Alli on Saturday, January 23, 2010.

One Response to “i don’t own an umbrella”

  1. Right on. And in the meantime, keep singin’ in the rain. 🙂

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