i don’t say this enough…

but I love this guy.  So so very much.

Monday was my brother, Chris’s birthday.  I’ve referred to him as my brother for many years now, so much so that I forget that it confuses people sometimes.  He is not my biological brother, but since my actual half brothers are 14 and 16 years younger than me, Chris is the closest thing to a sibling I have.

I’ve known him since I was 6.  We met at summer camp, both were silly and awkward, had a penchant for the performing arts and desperately wanted to be liked by the cool kids.  We didn’t fare very well on the last one, but have been close ever since.

For 20 years, we have been in each other’s lives.  We briefly called each other boyfriend and girlfriend when we were 12 (and didn’t really know what dating was, just thought that we should be since we were such close friends), and didn’t go to any of the same schools.  In high school he became rather quiet and reserved, and getting information about his life was often like pulling teeth.  But I would still call him  once a month.  It wasn’t until he told me senior year that he was gay, that the Chris I’d known and loved for so many years returned.  He became more silly and outgoing in front of me, and we became as close as we used to be once more, and to this day I scold him for coming out to me 3 years after he did to everyone else (“You were my ex girlfriend!”  “yeah, but I dumped you for another guy!  You really think I’d take it that hard?”).

Out of all of my close friends, I probably see and talk to Chris the least.  He went away to college, but we always saw each other when he came back for break (we were picking out movies for one of our wine and movie nights on the day when I met the man I would ultimately date for 3 years).  I love his parents, and am constantly touched by their welcoming nature and generosity, and how they treat me like a surrogate daughter (though they sometimes treat Alexander, his boyfriend, like that.  HAhahahah)

He’s still terrible at returning phone calls, and we’re both equally busy people (he continued to pursue acting, and is an exceptionally talented actor who regularly works in the Los Angeles/Orange County theatre scene.

But even if we go weeks and weeks without talking, and months without seeing each other (and we usually do)…nothing ever changes.  Despite us not seeing each other often, we pick up right where we left off.  Whether single or attached, he always tries to make me a priority, and when he started dating Alexander, who he adores and has been with for 2 years now (and who I love immensely as well), he made sure to involve me in their lives.  I didn’t lose a friend, but gained another gay brother who revels in embarrassing me in public and feeding me margaritas.

Alexander: Why do we look like we’re in a Judy Garland movie?

(The last picture is from the amazing birthday party they both helped throw me this year, and which Chris’s folks let us hold at their beautiful home).

But the most important thing about Chris is that…I have never once worried about where I stood with him.  2010 has been a year of being disappointed by people that I care about, specifically friends.  (I definitely have worried about us growing apart, or not being able to talk as much when he was away at school, but then would come back and make it a POINT to see me when he was in town, even if it was for a week).  We both acknowledged on Monday how much we love one another, and are grateful not only for each other’s friendship, but the security and trust there.  Neither of us has ever worried about trusting the other (which is saying something, considering we’re both pretty worrisome and insecure folks).  On Monday, after I gave him his card (which he yelled at me for making so gushy, lol), he said “I hope you know that you’re like…one of my favorite people.  In the entire world.  Seriously, I hope you know that”.

He’s the person who lends me books and got me into Mr Show with Bob and David.  Who will tease me incessantly about something I said 5 years ago, and never hurt my feelings when he does it.  Who is always up for going to a museum, and will always teach me something I didn’t know.  Who, when I tell him something he maybe doesn’t want to hear, listens and assesses before he argues.  Who still remembers performer Allison, and constantly tries to bring her out.  Who is CONSTANTLY trying to get me laid, forgetting that unlike him, I do not have the penchant or libido for promiscuity that a gay man does.  Who, before I went vegan, always tried to expose me to different types of cuisine and delicacies that I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to try otherwise (the only times I’ve had foie gras, escargot, and abalogne were with him).  He’s one of the most intelligent, funny, well read, and warm people I know.  He also grew into a total hottie (a fact that still makes me uncomfortable at times when I see modeling stuff he does, because he’s, well, my brother).

And man, we just have a stupid amount of fun together:

I don’t mention him enough here.  But he’s so immensely important to me.  I love him so so much.

~ by Alli on Saturday, August 7, 2010.

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